He wondered if he'd really inspire worry... as relatively unknown as he is here. Maybe they'd be concerned for "Akira," if they knew him.
"Lonely childhood, huh...?"
He felt kind of bad for Manzana. "I'll be your friend, then. Walkin' home together's nice..."
The worried smile got a frown from Attila and he avoided his gaze, suddenly sounding quite frustrated. "Che... just when I was feelin' good, too. It's not that I don't believe it. I do. They're soft and kind and all'a that... I believe you. I've seen it, too. I just... don't like takin' advantage'a people's kindness. Makes me feel scummy. I don't like unsettled scores, I don't like owin' things to anyone, it doesn't feel right! ... maybe when we're closer, it'll be natural, like it was with—... like before. But, for now... I just wanna make things up to you. I don't wanna let you down."
It felt embarrassing admitting to all of this stuff outloud, Attila groaned and focused on bandaging his hand, trying his hardest to distract himself, but it wasn't working. Words kept spilling out.
"I'm already scum, this is the least I can do... don't take it away from me. I guess it's selfish too, just for a sense'a honour, so I don't feel like the dirtbag I really am. Or hell, maybe I'm scared and don't like feeling indebted to other people. Even if you don't seem like the type'd use it against me. Whatever. Just... let me make it up to you two, somehow."
Will he hate him? Will he think he's insincere about changing? Or will he just think he's a mistrustful coward? He didn't know, but he was troubled that this, more than anything else, would make Manzana dislike him.
no subject
He wondered if he'd really inspire worry... as relatively unknown as he is here. Maybe they'd be concerned for "Akira," if they knew him.
"Lonely childhood, huh...?"
He felt kind of bad for Manzana. "I'll be your friend, then. Walkin' home together's nice..."
The worried smile got a frown from Attila and he avoided his gaze, suddenly sounding quite frustrated. "Che... just when I was feelin' good, too. It's not that I don't believe it. I do. They're soft and kind and all'a that... I believe you. I've seen it, too. I just... don't like takin' advantage'a people's kindness. Makes me feel scummy. I don't like unsettled scores, I don't like owin' things to anyone, it doesn't feel right! ... maybe when we're closer, it'll be natural, like it was with—... like before. But, for now... I just wanna make things up to you. I don't wanna let you down."
It felt embarrassing admitting to all of this stuff outloud, Attila groaned and focused on bandaging his hand, trying his hardest to distract himself, but it wasn't working. Words kept spilling out.
"I'm already scum, this is the least I can do... don't take it away from me. I guess it's selfish too, just for a sense'a honour, so I don't feel like the dirtbag I really am. Or hell, maybe I'm scared and don't like feeling indebted to other people. Even if you don't seem like the type'd use it against me. Whatever. Just... let me make it up to you two, somehow."
Will he hate him? Will he think he's insincere about changing? Or will he just think he's a mistrustful coward? He didn't know, but he was troubled that this, more than anything else, would make Manzana dislike him.
"... guess my personality's worse than my job."