COOKING MEME: Ultern Edition

[ulternnpc]

No matter in the fire, water, through grass or the forest--eating is essential! Even in the sunny and peaceful island region of Ultern people are out and about getting ready for today's meal. Now, what's on the menu for today?

 

1. Kame Kame Attack
You want to show just how much you care through your food! Even if the person (or pokemon) is stuffed, they need to eat more! They're so thin and withering away! What better way than to tell them there's always seconds or thirds?

2. One Minute Cooking
Is it your first time in the kitchen? Do you want to improve on how to cook? Time to turn to a friend or family member for help!

3. Koffing Class Curry
WHAT EVEN IS A BAKING SHEET? Oh my Arceus what am I doing?! Who even eats goya or yago anyway?! Everything is happening so much in the kitchen! You're a hot mess (as is the kitchen!), and you can't help but panic. Who do you call in a pinch like this?!

4. My stomach's growling like crazy!
Man that smells so good... what's there to eat?! You're just so starving you're withering away. If only there was someone with a nice meal to the rescue. Or are you able to fight your stomach and go down to the closest store to grab some food?

5. Augh...my stomach…
What was in that meal just now? The person who gave it to you meant well probably, but their cooking skills are not up to snuff. Is there a polite way to tell them to stop? Or perhaps it’s beyond the point of being polite. Either way it’s time to stop before anyone else falls victim!

6. REVENGE BENTO
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Or y’know be a bento box with nothing but rice in it with nori bits spelling out “curry” while claiming you made curry for lunch. Or whatever other petty ideas that are in store to make the receiver of this meal to get your message.

7. Allez Cuisine!
Wild card! Pick and choose your prompt or come up with something new!

Comments

[ulternnpc]

Do you have any NPCs you want to interact with? Feel free to tag them here!

[ulternprofessor]

If anyone wants to include Professor Banyan into some cooking shenanigans here's a thread top for him too!

[domeinion]

[From Napoleon's inedible poffins to Tulio's "sure, throw on one piece of lunch meat and call it good" sandwiches, one thing has been true throughout the years: Hosts cannot cook. So, while Alice is... trying, whatever is in that pot looks burned on one side and undercooked on the other, and even her Pokémon look wary.]

Come on, this can't be that difficult, can it?

One Minute Cooking [please help.......]

[timidlyblooming]

Lusamine was absorbed in her work for so long, she hadn't paid Lillie much attention (yet smothered her with excessive affection the rare times she was home... to Lillie's annoyance) and certainly hadn't been there to teach her many life skills. Her memories of cooking were very, very faint ones from early childhood (no help at all, sadly) or struggling to properly cut vegetables while the more motherly and present Professor Burnet guided her.

Although Lusamine had been regretful, up until very recently, Lillie and her family were too busy travelling in search of her long lost father to spend much time learning to cook and such... she could manage a soup or stew, though. It couldn't be too hard, right? As long as Snowy didn't try to help and accidentally freeze things.

Hot water, stock, some fresh vegetables Lillie cut a bit awkwardly and sometimes had to finish separating with her wooden spoon... that should do the trick, shouldn't it?

Oh, why wasn't the soup all changing colour? Was the stock supposed to sit in the middle there, like a strangely moist lump of sand at the bottom of the pot?

"U-um..."

[serperiority]

... that doesn't look safe to eat.

[Rude and uncalled for? Well, yes, but he felt it necessary.]

[lockedtrainer]

[ Listen. Tallie's not a bad cook, per se - there's only so many Lava Cookies a person can eat before they need to consume some protein - but there's a difference between throwing berries together in a pot while holed up in a secret base and hoping for the best, and cooking in a legitimate kitchen. (not to mention she never really made pokeblocks... whoops.)

As such, out of her element. There's a recipe on the counter in front of her, along with an array of ingredients to make something she's no doubt never heard of. There's a knife in her hand, too, held more like a weapon than a tool to chop with, but at least she has no intention of stabbing the person with her.

In fact, she's looking between them and the recipe card, before finally asking ] ... Do you know what this is?

[domeinion]

[She pokes at it with the spoon and tries to stir the mess.]

I can't even tell what happened with this.

[domeinion]

A knife?

[She's not even asking why the girl looks like Camila. Lots of people look like each other in TPP land. She's still going to think, though.]

Oh, wait, or did you mean the food?

[droppedballs]

[ Good news: you have a semi-competent kitchen assistant in your endeavors.

Bad news: he can't seem to stop juggling the ingredients. Call it a bad habit or purposeful, but he might have every onion in the kitchen in his hands. Stop him? ]

[lockedtrainer]

[ ... okay, yeah, much as she wants to roll her eyes, that's not an unfair assumption to make. So she lowers the knife. ]

I meant the food.

[domeinion]

Oh! That makes more sense. Well, it looks like a recipe for some of their local food, so I'd assume the noodles can be used in something like ramen... I think I can recognize some of these berries, but some are a little strange, aren't they? It's like a pecha berry, but entirely the wrong texture.

[serperiority]

… do you need help destroying the evidence?

[domeinion]

[Alice pauses, contemplates the glop, and sighs.]

Probably. I don't even think my Pokémon would eat any of this, and we usually aren't very picky.

[serperiority]

[Yes, it didn’t look fit for consumption, unless you were a Poison type, perhaps. Sadly, he had none on hand…

Trip regarded it a moment too, then gestured for Alice to move, as he drew out a pokeball.]

Stand back.

Serperior, come on out!

[domeinion]

Huh? Okay.

[Alice steps back maybe a few more paces than needed, though she doesn't really look afraid or anything.]

You know, I would've been fine with just throwing it in the compost.

[the cooking helper you need, but might not want]

[gold_drum]

Somebody's cooking? Awesome. Gold peers at Lillie, but doesn't notice she's having trouble, as his attention is drawn elsewhere.

"Hey, you gonna eat those?" Gold asks, pointing at the leftover vegetable pieces on the cutting board. The carrot ends, the onion outer layers, potato peels or whatever might be left. "If not, can I have them?"

After all, it's a waste to not eat something that can be eaten, in Gold's opinion.

[serperiority]

You know how burning fields too many times makes them eventually unusable? I think there might be enough carbon in that thing to kill your plants and your soil.

Serperior, Gastro Acid!

[… yeah, having Serperior shoot its own gastric acid at it to dissolve/digest it externally might be a bit overkill (might not be so good for the pot, either!), but it should melt it all.]

wild card!

[gold_drum]

There's cooking going on in Banyan's kitchen today. Gold and a yukata-clad man who Banyan hasn't seen before, but who sure sounds a lot like Umbar, have taken over the kitchen. They're baking cookies. The batter is rising in a bowl, but for some reason, Gold is crushing something crunchy-sounding with a mortar and pestle. Umbar is watching with a sense of morbid curiosity.

"Egg shells?" he finally asks, with a raised eyebrow.

"They're edible," Gold says, as he keeps crushing them up. "You can mix them in like flour if they're fine enough."

"Ah." Umbar should probably put a stop to this, but he's very tempted to see how this goes.

[pampered princess couldn’t imagine it!]

[timidlyblooming]

“H-huh…? Oh! Yes, of course, but… can you really such things? Eat onion peels?” Lillie asked, dubiously. “If you’re hungry, I’m sure you can have a whole carrot! It’s much more filling.”

[gold_drum]

"I'll take a whole carrot too, if you've got some to spare," Gold says with a shrug, as he grabs a carrot end, "but I don't wanna see food wasted when I can still eat it. Onion peels can be kinda annoying to eat but if you fry them in oil they're good." Good in Gold's opinion, at least...

"Whatcha cooking, anyway?" Gold asks, before taking a bite of carrot and crunching away on it.

1/2

[timidlyblooming]

“Please help yourself.”
Lillie said, gesturing to the carrots, offering one to Gold. “… do wash it first? It’s probably still dusty.”

[timidlyblooming]

“It’s soup!” Lillie said confidently, before deflating a bit. “Or, well, it was supposed to be.”

[gold_drum]

"Thanks!" Gold stuffs the carrot end he's eating into his mouth, then grabs a carrot and goes to rinse it off while eating. Was the carrot end probably rinsed? He's not worrying about that.

"Sff 's n't sfp?" Gold asks with his mouth full, then, realizing he's completely incoprehensible, quickly chews his mouthful up and swallows it, and says "So it's not soup?" He tilts his head, not really getting it.

[timidlyblooming]

“If it is, it isn’t very good soup!”

Lillie tried to stir it, but the strange lump just broke off into smaller clumps.

“… it isn’t supposed to be lumpy! It’s supposed to be thin and clear!”

[gold_drum]

"Huh, weird," Gold says, coming over to look at the soup. It really is weirdly lumpy. He tries to remember what the cookbook he used to help make soup said about soup stock, but can't quite recall it. "...It's edible, so it's probably fine like that?" he shrugs. He's eaten bouillon cubes on their own before, so he's not very picky about soup. "But try stirring it more, maybe that'll help." He bites his carrot and chews on it, unhelpfully.